Hey alphas,
not sure if anyone follows this anymore so maybe i can be afford to be more candid. But first:
Round Off Back Tuck
I seem to finally get the round off backtuck. What it took was for me to watch plenty of videos, and oddly enough to play the video sound track in my head whil tumbling, and my roundoff backtucks came in smoothly. It takes a type of light energy to get it done.
So anyway I've recently received a lot of flak with regards to my spotting. As a leader I guess I have to take this feedback positively and act upon it, so therefore I have outlined a new expectation of myself.
Simply put: the flyer is never to touch the ground. And I don't simply mean falling off a stunt. Even in a normal pencil dismount the flyer is to reach a complete stop before she even reaches the ground. Failure to meet this will result in twenty pushups per occurence. I foresee a lot of failures coming my way, and I intend to keep track using a Fail Count, or FC, which will be posted on facebook after each training.
Demoralising as it sounds, I think its important as a leader to be "untouchable." What this means is to never have a flaw for people to point out. If it reaches the extent that someone can actually point it out to you, especially in a public arena, as a leader one must take it as a total failure in leadership. One cannot expect to lead a team when one cannot even follow the program.
On a secondary note, this practice will make me a lot stronger. Since both forces are directed upwards, in the toss and the cushion, I believe this will also training my blast for the toss. But most of all, it is to protect the flyer from any future ankle or knee injuries such as the one I regretfully gave to weiting.
Before I sign off I would just like to mention how lonely it feels to have these expectations of myself. I have taken many great pains to improve myself, but with each improvement comes another expectation. As much as I enjoy the challenge, I have suddenly found myself facing them alone. And with the latest issue on my safety, I guess I have to resort to drastic measures to increase my safety level.
I apologise to all the flyers that I have been injuring lately.
No cheers today.
Alpha Joe
Joe!
ReplyDeleteI am neither good with my words nor am I good at consoling ppl but I am still gonna try and hopefully, you will be able to negate some of negative feelings that you are having.
Everyone makes mistakes, including leaders. It is good that you are setting such a high standard for yourself to follow, I respect you for that, really really, because not many can be like you - to do what you preached. But, it is really quite extreme to be thinking that it is a TOTAL failure in leadership when anyone in the team points out your mistake during circle of life.
I feel that the circle of life in Alpha isn't meeting its original purpose. Hmmm, maybe coz alphas are too nice and they prefer not to say bad stuff about anyone but themselves. Most ppl are just telling us about their experiences during that particular training. I mean there is nothing wrong with it, but I feel that we may not be that close enough to be able to say anything yet. Seeing how you are reacting to this issue, circle of life seems to have failed terribly, or I would say that circle of life can only remain very mild because Alpha is still a team more than a family? >< Just my very little opinion you can disagree with it. It could be just that you are a "approach me if you have any problems directly" than a "let everyone know you have a problem with me" kind of person" so you are feeling really unjustified and stuff, and so coincidentally you are the first person that kena this thing. (and i sorta am the one who started this, i am really sorry to have caused you so much emo-ness and anger)
Please don't think that you are in this yourself (though I always feel the same). I guess the difference between us is really you being the strong base and you get to pick flyers and I being a heavy and not so strong flyer. For me, even if I want to try higher level stunts, I am restricted to only 2-3 bases who could do partner stunts with me. I have alot alot alot of things that I want to hit but I am only stuck with the very basic ones simply because I don't get to practice enough and bases have higher stunts that they want to perfect. Similar for group stunts, I am really grateful for more flying opportunities, but the feeling really sucks because I have been training quite hard yet I am still of the same standard/worse than any female junior flyer, with all the injuries. The only way for me to have an equal chance of flying is to reduce my weight and you know how hard that is? For me to be a better mid-tier, the only way would be to get my fucking unrepairable left shoulder repaired and my still injured right elbow to slowly recover? I have to risk dislocation of my shoulder and injuring my back again whenever I try tumbling so yup, I can never be at my best but I really try very hard because I still can.
I know that you will be able to come out of this, feeling stronger and better about yourself. Give yourself more time to achieve all these yeah?
And you don't have to apologise to me again and again, i have regarded it as a freak accident, I still believe in you, and that you will catch me no matter how I fall and continue to stunt with me despite being injured by me as I dismount.
Jiayou Joe! Let's jiayou! :)
- you know who I am :)